Fanfiction Notification

Anyway... aside from that emo-centric post... I shall note that that was my second post on this blog and this is now my third! Yay! XDXD

This is just a bit of news for you, if you came to this log through my FF.net account, I want you to know that I am working on a new Zelda/Link (yes, I have played Twilight Princess now) piece, set in modern Hyrule- obviously AU. It's a humour/romance oneshot that has somehow shot past my usual thousand word oneshots and it now at about four thousand. Whew... so we'll see how far it gets.

And also expect an EdxWinry follow up piece sometime in the near-ish future. Yes... a follow up on that awfully-writtin, really OOC oneshot called "Glass Dreams" that I posted about ten months ago. This time it will be from Edward's POV and mostly deals with him and Al trying to get back home. There is a great deal of fluffiness and happiness at the end, though, so don't sweat too much. I'm aiming for a good ending that might make people cry, but I was never good at pulling emotions out of people, so we'll see... hahaha...

Just FWI, these two pieces were not announced in my profile because my profile has not been updated for quite a while, and they're basically just side jobs.

I like to think that my writing has improved since last year, but of course, it's me... so how would I be able to accurately judge whether the quality of my writing is better? XD Lucky you- you get to decide in a little while when I post it! (Expect the ZeLink oneshot out first.)

So, drop me a note, if you want.

Amour, Mariko.

"Everyone's special, Dash."

I strive to be myself, but I am still only a cheap imitation. What I do, there will always be someone better. Always. In a way, it keeps me humble, but at the same time, it leaves me feeling frustrated with myself for not being able to be better, to excel. I strive to be myself, but what comes of it… is only an average girl who isn’t anything special.

I was never an especially popular person outside my own circle of friends, and that was and is okay with me.

One of the qualities people praise in me is that I can quietly lead people. But, how can I lift others up when I have so little value for my own self-worth? If I had a higher self-value, would I have a greater, positive influence on others?

My mother says I have a fear of failure. How can I have a fear of failure when I know that I won’t succeed, even with my hardest efforts exerted? So far, all my life, there has never been anything I could do that was singularly special. Someone could always pray better, comfort better, talk to people better, vault better, sing better, write better. You know the drill.

Perhaps it is this very attitude that creates in me an under-appreciation for myself, though I seek to alleviate it. In my search to find myself, I’ve inadvertently ensnared myself by comparing myself to others.

And I realize that maybe this has unconsciously rubbed off onto others. Have you heard of “vibes”? They catch that vibe that I have little self-respect, and thus, they subconsciously treat me accordingly so. I don’t blame them. Not that they treat me like dirt, but I don't know... I guess maybe they treat me like I'm awkward or in the way or something. It's kind of obscure, hidden behind a smiling facade...

But.......

I believe the first step in becoming a better person is not by trying to change the surrounding, but by changing the inside. The attitude and core values. I admit, it’s hard to work on those. I’ll tell the truth: I haven’t tried to fix those.

I suppose I haven't tried because I am too used to being in my comfort zone, and they above-mentioned fear of failure probably subconsciously works its way into my mind.

How am I to fix these? How can I find the self-discipline in me (I lack a lot of self-discipline) to be able to fix these problems?

Every journey begins with a single step ~Unknown

Hi. Welcome to my blog!

I'm still quite new at this, so I'm still trying to figure out how everything works.

You want to know more about me? I, unshamefully admit, that am weird. Random.

I am one of those people who try so hard to be different and utterly succeed at failing. I believe in the spontaneity of predictablity.

I am hopeless romantic who always chooses the wrong couple. As in, I somehow manages to pick the ill-fated couple. That depresses me somewhat, but it's nothing a giant chocolate chip cookie can't fix.

I loves to write, especially fluff and sweet cheese (I'm not a citrus girl.. or slash). I've always had problems with finishing something I start writing- a horrible predicament for a wannabe author. As you can see, to the right, I have a Fanfiction.net account. XD

I also love to make graphics. I've spent time learning how to code (I still suck at CSS, though), so I understand the basics. I tremendously enjoy experimenting with new Photoshop techniques. I'm inspired by seeing others' graphics.. no, I don't copy them. That takes the fun out of it.

I love music. I tend to listen to hip-hop and heavy rock. A strange combination, as I'm very aware. I'm fairly picky with my music and only listen to select hip-hop, preferably without the cussing (which I find hard to come by, as almost all hip-hop contains mild swear words or the like). My rock choices tend to come between the line of screamo and alternative. (What can I say? I listen to what I likes, even if it means being labeled as indecisive.) I play the piano and immensely enjoy playing lots of contemporary pieces.

I've recently taken up fencing, and I can say that I almost love it. It's good work for the legs and the mind (Quick- parry repost!). Previously, I had been a gymnast for about eight years, but I had to stop due to a back injury. So, the fencing is good for me because God knows I need the exercise. But there's just something fun about lunging at people with a thing that looks like it could be a sword. (Yes, it's the closest thing I may get to a weapon. Sad, right?)

Hey- what kind of movies and shows do I like? I love action flicks (ironic for someone who believes in romance) to death and can't live without them. I also love happy endings- they are truly my anti-drug. I love Pirates of the Caribbean (I will always believe that Will comes back to Elizabeth at the end because he is free of the curse), Transformers (I loved the action, thought Bumblebee was adorable, and wondered if there was enough character developement), the Die Hard movies (Die Hard 4 was amazing), The Matrix Trilogy (I thought the first one was the best, loved the on-top-of-the-truck-fight in Reloaded, and was disappointed with the end of Revolutions), Star Wars (Hayden Christensen didn't make the cut for me in Revenge of the Sith, my favorite of the prequel trilogy), and Narnia (no, I still can't get over the fact that Ben Barnes is 25).

I love anime and manga. Two of my all-time favorite anime shows are Spiral suiri no kizuna and Fullmetal Alchemist. In Spiral, I love Ayumu- dubbed Emu by my two best friends- and I think Kanone is cute but his voice is a disgrace. In FMA, I think Ed and Winry should have gotten together in the anime (I'm a rabid EdxWin fan); I love the manga to death because they are next to canon! Conqueror of Shamballa makes me sad.

I'm also a videogamer... My favorite videogames are the Call of Duty series (I don't care what that that guy I think is cute says. CoD is amazing), the Legend of Zelda series (although I haven't played Twilight Princess yet, heh. I'm still a fan of the ZeLink pairing.. yes, they are perfect for each other), the Super Smash Brothers games (can we say fanservice?), and actually, most Nintendo games. I suppose I'm big on action. The Sonic games aren't bad either, but I still love my Hot Wheels. (Yes, I'm a dork.)

And..... If you are still reading this, you might want to know what to expect to see on this blog. To tell you the truth, I'm not quite sure. Graphics are on my LJ (see link) and fanfiction is on FF.net. What do people post in blogs, anyway?

So... Expect randomness, confusion, and utter entertainment for you (if you're the type who likes to laught at people who tend to become confuzzled quite easily). Maybe even something a normal person would post. I expect you'll be seeing a lot of my views on things. Yeah.

And there you have it. That's pretty much me in a nutshell. Sorry about such a long post. It really wasn't supposed to be this long. Please be sure to check back sometime!

Amour,
Mariko (pen name Aeralyse)